Judgement and Judging

Judgement and judging are different.

Judgement is coming to a conclusion based on “facts,” on science, on objective evidence.

Judging is often an unreasonable, and unjust, conclusion or evaluation based on emotion. It is based on the opposite of science, or “facts” or objective evidence.

Sharon taught me the difference. Often we would come out of the driveway with me driving, and I would stop at the stop sign. Another car, usually on my left, would come and sort of stop at the stop sign but then cruise on through, not looking out for me, who had the right of way. I would usually say something like: Fuck him.

Sharon usually said: Wonder if he had to go to the hospital? Wonder if he had a sick child in the back? Wonder if he just didn’t see you?

What Sharon was saying, what Sharon taught me, was to stop judging. I still curse the person who does not stop at the stop sign, but I catch myself, think of what Sharon would say, and try to remember to: Stop judging.

As Ginger McMillan said in her letter to Sharon when Sharon was in hospice: “Sharon…you lead with your whole heart…without judging.”

Judgement pursue; judging eschew.